Ego and Fire

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Ego and Fire

by Mariya V.Dimitrova | March 19, 2019 | Mind

If your dominant element is Fire, you are probably brave, energetic and passionate. The element of Fire sparks your motivation and decisiveness and you can achieve success in the activities you focus on. However, it is of great significance to observe yourself and have a regular reality-check as to whether your ego is balanced or not.

When your ego is balanced, you are assertive, confident, convincing and a natural leader. People follow you because they admire your strength, focus and determination.

Картинка на самоуверения ни герой, който е лидер на екип и хората го гледат с възхищение и уважение, докато той им обяснява нещо, усмихнат и лъчезарен.

When your ego is out of balance,

When your ego is out of balance, it’s highly likely that people see you as someone with a “too big ego” and feel irritated by your attitude. In stressful situations:

  • your assertiveness tends to go to an unhealthy extreme and turn into something completely different – arrogant and over judgmental behavior
  • your strength turns into authoritarian attitude
  • your focus and determination – into a mania for control
  • your confidence – into boastfulness and bragging

Картинка на самохвалко, който пред група хора разказва нещо и се вижда тяхната досада или раздразнение.

In more extreme cases of imbalanced ego, the inherent competitiveness of individuals with dominant Fire becomes a tendency to make other people feel inferior and not good or worthy enough. This is the imbalanced Fire individual’s attempt to hide their own disadvantages, avoid taking responsibility for their own faults and experience a fake feeling of “power” over shy and not assertive enough people.

And these defense mechanisms of imbalanced ego wreak havoc on their owner’s ability to truly connect. You cannot have a really close and happy relationship with your colleagues, friends, spouse and children if they get tense around you and if they feel oppressed, disrespected, unappreciated or abused in any way.

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The imbalance of your ego comes from an internal insecurity and fragility of the ego that you hide with the strategy of overcompensation. Sometimes you hide the insecurity from the others and sometimes you hide it even from yourself. And in such cases, if a person tells you that you are not at all as confident as you appear to be, you might feel surprised or insulted.

Another way a person with a dominant element Fire and an imbalanced, fragile ego might try to fight insecurity is by becoming dependent on financial prosperity and social status. However, no matter how much you gain in these aspects, you will never feel life fulfillment or “good in your own skin” if you don’t take care of the foundation of your sense of self-worth. The financial prosperity and social status are just part of the roof.

Coping strategies:

To balance your ego and build a healthy relationship with it, the first step is to be honest to yourself and be able to see yourself as clearly and objectively as possible. You don’t have to be perfect in order to be able to love and respect yourself. Because this is the underlying belief that makes you engage all these wrong defense mechanisms – you think or unconsciously believe that admitting and acknowledging your weaknesses or allowing any room for authenticity and vulnerability will crush your ego and you will feel weak in the relations with other people.

Картинка на човек, който е застанал пред огледало, над което пише: „Without the masks. Exploring myself by looking deep within and looking at the feedback from others”. Човекът изглежда честен, спокоен и съсредоточен. В ръката си държи свалена от лицето си маска, на която пише „No mistakes and no weaknesses”.

Actually, being authentic and open to other people gives your ego strength. Real strength, not a fake one. Look at your life and ask yourself: “Where are the conflict zones in my relations with other people? In which situations do I feel the urge to prove my superiority over the others?”

It might be very helpful to ask the people you care about something like that: “Do I have any annoying reactions or tendencies in my behavior? Please be honest and frank with me because I realize that this feedback is good for me. I want to be successful not just in one specific sphere in life, but as an individual. I am going to reevaluate some things in my life so that I can lift it to a higher level.”

All kinds of self-improvement/psychological books, seminars, workshops and consultations will be invaluable to maintaining a balanced ego which will pay off in happiness, life satisfaction and healthy relationships with the others.

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